July 29 - Great Eastern Tour Day 13

Child-like moments: 237
Prayers not to die: 12
Money spent: $9

9:07 a.m. - Return from run to find Dad hacking at tree limbs. Wouldn't care so much if he wasn't climbing a ladder by himself. This would be cause for a very pointed reprimand if I were to attempt it. Go hold the ladder for him and get pummelled with branches.

10:40 a.m. - Decided why I don't like Hemmingway: the characters are hollow, shallow, and superficial. There is nothing that gets me to connect with them. Nothing drives me to want to know more about them, not even the hope that they will improve. There was no remorse when characters died, just some relief when a few pages later the book ended. It is time to move on to other things, characters I can delight in. I pick up the second in Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series and prepare to get addicted.

12:43 p.m. - Two minutes before the time to pick up Panda, realize I don't know how to get to the museum. Mom to the rescue, and a few minutes later the car is running, windows down, explaining to a teen why stopping at her group's car wash isn't in the cards.

1:20 p.m. - Exploring the newly expanded and renovated Strong National Museum of Play with Panda. Comparing my childhood memories to what I see is like comparing an old black-and-white movie to technicolor. Everything is big and clean and bright. Quotes about learning and play line the walls. The Sesame Street exhibit has been expanded, and we stop to take a picture under Big Bird. Attempt to write Panda a message using a brailler...write really big in Braille. There are craft areas everywhere, but they are swarming with kids so we bypass most of those places. Sadly, the butterfly garden is full until much later in the afternoon, so we don't go in there. Another time there will be dancing with butterflies. The best new thing we go through is Reading Adventureland. It's billed as a living pop-up book, and that's fairly accurate. The reader, teacher, and child in me are all in ecstasy. There's a mystery area (contemplate creating my own code, but it was too much like a class taught last year), fantasy area (see original pages of the first drafts of Lord of the Rings, and admire the Harry Potter paraphenalia), fairy tale area (play the stringless, golden harp in the giant's playroom), nonsense house (cook up some green eggs and ham), and adventure area (make a treasure map, but the boat was hard to read). Guiding readers through the whole thing is a yellow brick road. Overstimulation commences immediately.

3:12 p.m. - Find another play area while Panda looks for food. Small children are playing Dance Dance Revolution. Still think that game is way harder than it looks. Turn a big wheel without knowing what it does. The ability to pull, push, turn, and bang on things at random is the most fun part of the play museum. Look up and discover big wheel turns largest kaleidescope ever. Aware of the ability to stand entranced forever, drag myself away to find Panda before I'm lost again to the world of play.

4:40 p.m. - Panda and I meet her husband at a party with a two-year-old roaming around and the fraternity boys cursing like they have Turrets. Mother of child keeps yelling, "PG-13, please!" This is the only fun thing happening at the party where I only know Panda and her husband. Keeping her company at a party of mainly her husband's friends was an okay plan until we got here. Determine to sneak out shortly after eating. Then Panda can focus on the husband she only sees on weekends.

5:29 p.m. - It is raining so hard the lines on the road can't be seen. The car is starting to jump it is so waterlogged. There is a serious fear the semi passing me will push me off the road with its wake of water. Only one exit to home. Please God don't let me die.

7:02 p.m. - Cheez Whiz is one of the world's greatest foods, especially for nachos.

10:10 p.m. - Dad finds reruns of HeeHaw on CMT. It feels like a clean, country version of SNL. Now that I've seen it either life is complete or I'll have to shoot myself. Thankful for the ability to read and tune out the world. Officially addicted to the Stephanie Plum book crack.