Monday, July 14, 2008

Hello Goodbye

I've said far too many goodbyes recently.

Spent the weekend with college friends in Ohio, but it felt like all I did was leave. Even the almost-24-hours spent with the architect, the longest period of time I spent with anyone, wasn't enough. I could have stayed 2 or 3 more days easily, and we probably still would not have run out of things to talk about. The time to move on arrived far before I was ready, and again, that was the most time I spent with anyone. Literally hugged 'hello' and 'goodbye' to the musician (soon to be the Scotsman) in the same instant. A 'hello' hug should not also be a 'goodbye' hug - it's just not fair.

The worst part is saying goodbye not knowing when the next hello will come around. Just two weeks ago I had a much easier time leaving the producer, the actress, and the musician. But then I knew I'd be seeing them again just a few weeks down the road. Now I have no idea when the Vine ladies will be together...it could be another year, or even longer. There is always the possibility of another visit next summer, but a year is a long way off, and who knows what will happen in between. Every time I see the far away people I love it's like a little hole inside gets filled that I had gotten used to being empty. But when the hole is filled and then cleared out again too quickly, before the filling can really sink in and satisfy, a larger hole is left in its wake. The definitive plans of a future meeting at least anesthetize the wound a little.

Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for any opportunity to see dear friends, that's why I'll gladly drive 10 hours to do so. Any time together is worth the aftermath of knowing that there just wasn't enough time. Eventually the hole left by goodbye goes numb again, and the memory of time spent with friends stays fresh. But after four years of the Great Eastern Tour, leaving hasn't gotten any easier.

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